Coffee and Tea: Two Very Disgusting Things in this World

Coffee, or Coughee?

While coffee has been scientifically proven to be objectively "gross", it still remains one of mankind's favorite drinks, which is a phenomenon beyond my understanding. The origins of coffee consumption begins with Abyssinian shepherds stumbling about and coming upon a "coffea" tree. They ate it, spit it out immediately, and then did the same thing over and over again. Then they decided to brew it instead, and it became slightly more bearable.
A mole is 6.022 x 10^23 atoms.
In an experiment on the effects of hot water vs. cold water on dissolving rates, I found that hot water dissolves substances at a high rate. In the cold water, the sugar dissolved slowly, but eventually it all disappears.
The reason espressos are so strong, yet have relatively little amounts of caffein is for two reasons: Small serving size (typically 6.5g of beans) and short amount of contact time with water during extraction. When brewing coffee, you're really just releasing the water.
The reason substances like (E)-ß-Damascenone and 2,3-Butanedione (diacetyl) are volatile is because they are rich in polar bonds, thus making them water soluble. They reach our noses and then we can smell them.
The reason it's good to use new beans instead of week-old beans is because they eventually produce nasty smelling chemicals, such as the two show here. It's really easy to smell these compounds, so make sure your beans are fresh!
There are 20 Carbons found on cafestol, so if it's a diterpene then there must be 10 carbons in a terpene.

The Asian Palm Civet eats the coffee and poops it out,
and then you get to have some

After reading about Kopi Luwak, I don't think I would want to try it. It's super expensive, it came from a weasle-looking animal's digestive tract, and it's coffee! The pros don't outweigh the cons in this one. Sorry, Civet. I just would prefer a beverage less involved with your intestines.
I did actually try some different coffees while I was in class though. One was a "medium coffee", and it was just awful, but the other was a strong one from Ethiopia, and this one was actually pretty bad. I mean that. I thought I might actually need to wash it out with some tea! That's how desperate I was.

Tea tastes bad, too!

Tea Off
The origin of tea is said to have started when Shennong, the legendary emperor of China, was drinking boiled water and some leaves happened to drift into his bowl. When he saw that the water changed colors, naturally he drank it up. He tried it with other leaves, and thus tea was born. However, this is just one legend. I don't know when people started adding nas as a key ingredient, but they must be since I've tried my fair share of nas tea. Tea was introduced into Britain for the first time in 1662 by Catherine of Braganza. Tea imports from the East India skyrocketed when tea became a popular beverage in Britain.
The Han dynasty used tea as a medicine.
King Charles II was involved in bringing the tea to the west, since he was married to Catherine of Braganza. It is also thought that sailors from Amsterdam could have been responsible for bringing over the first tea samples.
The Boston Tea Party was when colonists, fed up with the East India Tea company and their monopoly, threw barrels of lots of tea into the harbor, thus destroying it all without paying for it.
Because the English loved tea so much but didn't want to pay so much for it, they created an opium addiction in China. Eventually, China was addicted to opium and England could pay for their tea. It's always nice to see how England has used its moral compass throughout history.
Flavanoides, amino acids, vitamins (C, E and K), caffeine and polysaccharides are all closely related to human health
If you're making green tea you'll want your temperature to be in between 80-85 degrees C. Toss in those nasty leaves for about fifteen minutes and you've got yourself some green pea. I mean tea. You could also put it in for less, but expect some bitter stuff no matter what you do.
Now if you're going to make some of that black tea, you'll need to crank up the temperature so your water is at a nice 99 degrees C. Hmm, it's pretty much boiling there, but you need a high temperature to develop those active substances in black tea. Leave it brewing for four minutes or so and viola, you're drinking some nas tea.
While I don't like tea very much, if I had to choose my kind of tea here's how I'd describe it using key tasting terms:
Much sweetness with none of that tannin. Sure, I'll take some length in there. A little after taste never hurt. Now, as far as body goes, I prefer a hot body. Good body. Yes. And throw some balance in there while you're at it.
Honestly, I just don't know if my mood would affect opinion of tea, unless insane is a mood, although I don't think it is. I mean, I like Arizona Iced tea, and an Arnold Palmer ain't half bad, but really it all just kind of tastes the same to me. I don't know if that sounds immature of me, but they're just my honest feelings. Ok, how about this? If I'm feeling contemplative I'll drink some 1706. That was when Benjamin Franklin was born. Hmm, how contemplative...
I tried four different types while I was there in class. Let's go through them, shall we?
Red Bush Tea, from South Africa. The leaves smelled like wood and BBQ a little. Somebody mentioned campfires, and I totally understood what they were talking about. I got that too. The brew smelled pretty similar. I couldn't really tell the difference. The taste was very week. It was just watery and had some wood.
Green Tea, from Japan. The leaves smelled very much like what tea is my mind. Green tea is pretty gross. The brew smelled kind of like green beans. The taste was similar to the brew's smell. It had this green bean taste, but it was just bitter and unpleasant.
Mint Tea, from Mintland. The leaves smelled like straight up mint. The brew smelled like a mint tree, and the taste was slightly minty that left the tongue cooled and the after-taste lingers. Not that bad, as far as tea goes.
Smokey Black Tea, from Whoknowswhere. The leaves had a strong, wood-like scent. I got that BBQ thing going on with this one too. It was a pretty foul tea. Bitter, water, and bland. Why do people drink this?